Why Can't I Sleep?

I'm in the business of relaxation. I have spent my whole life exploring the topic, I'm a comfort loving Taurus, and have become an expert on finding or creating inner peace amidst chaos. As those who have known me longest like to remind me, "I was kinda' nuts". I like to simply say that I'm a recovered over-achiever.

You'll find great internet articles on tips to help you sleep better at night. Non-habit-forming drugs, meditation and a hot bath. I can't not mention massage, a little plug here, after all I am a massage therapist. But all of these great ideas don't really take care of our sleep deprivation state. Don't kid yourself, sleep deprivation is one of the most harmful things you can do to your body, relationships and life. You are a miracle and your body is much smarter than any doctor. When you give it time to heal itself, it usually will.

So, how do I sleep so well? And I do- it's a hobby of mine :). Disregarding all of the tips and tricks, I sleep well because I really want to. More than I want to be "a good person". More than I want to "do it all". More than I want to be angry, hurt, right, upset or stressed. Knowing how important sleep is to feeling good, being happy and performing at my best, I make it a very high priority. I would rather train the people around me to respect my need for adequate sleep than be irritable and sick because I'm not sleeping enough or sleeping well. And the ones who love you know. They know when you aren't at your best or present to them no matter how hard you try or what you say. Lack of good sleep can make or break a relationship.

The first thing you need to do is, believe good sleep is the cornerstone to good health. And it is. Don't just take my word, science has been proving it for years. Do some research. Then, you need to look at WHY you aren't getting enough sleep. Start with, "It's because my spouse snores, etc" and move past that to, "I'm a good person if I'm suffering from sleep deprivation" or, "Lack of sleep is the consequence of being a good friend/spouse/parent" or, "I'm scared I'll be alone or friendless if I don't stress myself out or party all night or caffeine my brains out or eat at midnight."

When after some soul searching, counseling, spiritual guru-ing or a lightning bolt from the sky, you've determined the real reason why you aren't getting enough sleep, now it's time to challenge that belief. Reflect on your life. When have you been a totally unlovable jerk and the sun still came up the next morning? You stood toe to toe with your greatest fear and it wasn't that big of a deal? You were stupid and naive and screwed everything up and yet, here you are. Reflecting on both the bad and the good things in your life will give you a more open-minded perspective on why you aren't getting good sleep. It will probably give you enough insight to start making a significant change.

So you're ready to change, you researched what you should be doing differently and are applying it. Woo-hoo!! Change is hard though, and you're going to keep going back to your old habits. Every time you see they symptoms, it's time to stop and reflect. You'll go on a bender. Now stop and reflect. You'll pull an all-nighter. Stop and reflect. This is normal. Change takes a lot of time and repetition. When I know I am going to be tempted or most vulnerable to an old habit, I prepare for it. If I'm going to have to stay up late, I take time during the day to rest or take small naps. If my husband snores, I make accommodations by wearing earplugs, going to sleep before him or sleeping separately in a quieter room if it's particularly bad. Even if it's not fair that I have to accommodate someone so insensitive to my need for a good sleep :) Do I want to be right or do I want to feel good?

Everyone knows what to do to. If you don't, a quick google search will tell you everything you need to know about what interferes with sleep and what to do about it. Our problem with sleep is less about good information and more about why we aren't following it. I've learned how to create a life that gives me enough sleep. The consequence? I'm happier, feel physically better, don't get sick very often, am present to the people that matter to me and have many great and fulfilling relationships. I'm still a little nuts and have times when everything seems to be falling down on my head, but generally speaking, it's a great life.