Healing Through Feeling

I'm going through peri-menopause. For those who aren't familiar, it's a time of hormonal shifts that start years BEFORE menopause. I'm once again using the skills I discovered when I started my own self-healing journey- otherwise I'd be picking fights or crying all day. Ugh.

Whether it's hormone shifts or normal stress, emotions (anger, frustration, pain, sorrow) can control us in seconds. One moment we're fine and the next we're doing everything in our power to keep from freaking out. This happens with natural male/female hormonal shifts, limiting beliefs, low blood sugar, physical imbalance, hidden memories- a wide variety of factors. Either way, emotions are rushing through us.

And that's exactly what's happening. Something told our brains to release chemicals, causing us to feel tense, nauseous, weepy...out of our minds. So, now what? Some people eat, smoke, drink, get into a bar fight, drive recklessly....These are all distractions that keep us from feeling our emotions. They don't make the emotion go away faster (lots of times they don't even feel good) and afterwards, we're so filled with shame that we may dive into depression or punish ourselves. Distractions keep telling the fear, shame, anxiety, fear, shame anxiety... to keep cycling. Like a bad dream, you just need to safely relax and wait. If you give up and eat a cookie, don't worry, it's all a learning experience. You'll be better prepared next time.

When emotions have taken control, it's not a crises, it's an opportunity to heal ourselves- emotionally and consequently, physically. So what are the steps to taking advantage of this dubious gift?

First of all, we have to let ourselves feel. Our bodies are, literally, flooded with chemicals and there's no going back. It's here and we have to deal with it. If you're alone, sit down, do nothing for awhile and wait it out. Drinking water helps, as it flushes your system. If you're with others, go to the washroom or a private place.

Once you're safe, you need to express. Shutting the emotion down can lead to serious health concerns like heart attack, fibromyalgia, numbness, migraines, digestive issues... You get to choose how to release this surging energy. If you're angry, do or imagine something physical (the body reacts similarly). My anger can be bigger than my physical strength so I visualize hitting home runs- the muscle tense, the swing, the connection. Some people write. Some people create. Some people cry. Some people call up their best friend. Either way, be smart about how you vent your emotion. Very soon, you'll be clearheaded again and don't want to regret your actions such as a broken door or relationship.

Pay attention to your thoughts. What are the words or images that keep coming into your head? They will tell you what is REALLY bothering you. Follow those words or images as far back as is reasonable. Where do they come from? Your body, your memory, your mind? Where did this feeling originate from? What does it remind you of? When else did you feel this way? Like a detective, gather information about this well-buried persona.

Once you know the origination of the emotion, it's time to act as impartial interrogator. Is what you saw really true? Why or why not? What else could it mean? Why did you decide it meant what it did? What can you do about it? Question, question, question. The words and images will spin around but hold them lightly in your head until you're calmer and clear-headed. You have most if not all the answers already. Using hard won life experiences, you can go back in time and find clarity, compassion and understanding. If not, you'll get a very clear direction about what to do next. Maybe you need more information. Maybe you need to complete a circle. Maybe you need to open a new door. Either way, you are healing an emotional wound or limiting belief that shapes your real and perceived world.

So next time an emotion comes over you, don't stuff it, don't just vent it, don't only turn it into a macrame planter...heal it. Your body is healthier and life goes much, much smoother for your efforts.