Finding Balance Through Acceptance

When a man is stimulated by his own thoughts, full of desire and dwelling on what is attractive, his craving increases even more. He is making the fetter even stronger. But he who takes pleasure in stilling his thoughts, practicing the contemplation of what is repulsive, and remaining recollected, now he will make an end of craving, he will snap the bonds of Mara. His aim is accomplished, he is without fear, rid of craving and without stain. He has removed the arrows of changing existence. This is his last body.  Buddha (563 - 483 BC)- Source: The Dhammapada Gautama Buddha / Translated by John Richards ,v.349, 350, 351 

Were you taught, like most everyone, that you must hold on to your emotions? As we joined spiritual  practices, maybe we were asked to get rid of fear and anger. Does it seem like the more we try to control what we feel- pulling it in or pushing it away, the more stressful our life gets and the less control we actually have?

Have you ever wondered what might happen if you sat quietly one day and let all of the conflicting emotions, beliefs and ideas express themselves in your head and heart- like a poorly written play or an unending monologue? Looked into your darkest corners and ugliest thoughts and found a way to express them? You may get nervous now, thinking of yourself or others who HAVE done that and it didn't fare well. Maybe you've forgotten when yourself or others found their genius instead.

Our ancestors know that unfelt and unexpressed emotions cause suffering. They also know that felt and expressed emotions guide (sometimes it takes a little while) towards wisdom and lasting happiness. The more we know ourselves, the more we know others, the more in control we naturally become. With experience after experience, we learn our preferred ways of feeling and expressing our emotions. Leading, to balance.

If you're scared, start small and treat it as an experiment. Try out different feelings and ways to express them: get into an argument, be kind, walk away, walk towards. Observe the short and long term results. It's fascinating to watch how every character, including ourselves, responds today and in the future depending on the mood, situation, phase of the moon or direction of the wind.