The Biology of Attraction

As a massage therapist, I have a fascination with the senses. One of the reasons I chose massage therapy is because I love how people look, smell, feel and sound. I get to use all of my senses to get to know someone and am highly interested in how we subtly interact with one another on a subconscious level.

I also study the biology of the body/mind. What physically influences us to feel and behave one way or another? What is and what effects good health, relationships and communities? Science is only now starting to scratch the surface. The results both support and disagree with common beliefs and intuition about how we work. I could go on and on.

There have been some wonderful studies over the past decade regarding biology and attraction. In the past, researchers have avoided the science of attraction because many people wanted to believe we were above our physical instincts. Yet why does attraction seem so controlling and so fickle? Recent studies have brought some light to the subject. We're finding that instead of controlling our physical form, we're usually mentally justifying it instead.

Here are the top 10 things that resonated with me:

1. Women, more than men, can smell the health of someone. If someone smells too sweet, women reject them because it can mean diabetes or schizophrenia.

2. Women can tell which men are more genetically related to them and which aren't. They can smell a different immune system. When women are pregnant (or on the pill), they prefer men that smell like their brothers, cousins etc. When women are not pregnant, they prefer men who smell different than their family. Researchers theorize that women prefer to be protected when they are pregnant.

3. Testosterone increases pheromone, the attraction hormone, in men and women. You can increase testosterone through exercise, competitive or aggressive activities, smelling a woman who is ovulating or taking a human growth hormone. Basically, men smell women's fertility and create more pheromones to increase their attractiveness. Showering less often, eating healthier, having more body hair and avoiding onions, garlic and scent will increase how well women can smell your pheromones.

4. Single men rate ovulating women more attractive and men in committed romantic relationships rate them as less. Researchers theorize that men's psyche protect them from temptation.

5. When ovulating, women rate men with higher testosterone more attractive than usual. Men with higher testosterone have squarer features, a more dominant personality and more pheromones. In a nutshell, women's sexual preferences change when she's ovulating, making other men more attractive than her romantic partner.

6. When women are ovulating, they dress, move, sound, talk and smell different. They seem to behave differently and many men notice it on a subconsious level.

7. The pre-menstrual cycle is different than the ovulation cycle, they encompass different hormones and signs. For ovulation, good personal cues are increased self-confidence, increased sexual interest, behaving more extraverted and getting more attention from single men.

8. Pheromones are generally odorless although some perceive it as the smell of dirty socks. They are picked up by the Vomeronasal Organ which is connected at the base of the nasal cavity.

9. After an orgasm, our hormonal cocktail changes significantly. For men, immediately, and women within about a week, we seem chemically induced to look for a new mate.

10. Frequent orgasms can biologically create an addictive cycle that inhibits long term feelings of bonding, increases social anxiety and encourages impotence.

All right, the body is really, really complicated. Add in our individual psychological makeup and it can be nearly impossible to "know" what's really going on. The nicest thing is that understanding that our feelings and urges are both psychological and biological, helps us make educated choices regarding our lives. So I guess I'll just keep touching people, talking to them and let the magic remain.

References: for more information or the studies themselves, please refer to the following sources:
The Neurochemistry of Sex
The Vomeronasal Organ
Porn and Social Anxiety
Scent of a Woman
The Smell of Love