My Super-Secret Wellness and Enlightenment Tips

Wisconsin Retreat 2011
Courtesy of Van Archiquette

I’ve got a pretty good life. By my own accounts, I’m pretty healthy, my relationships are good, my friendships are rich and I get adventure and new challenges on a regular basis. But there’s something that most people don’t know about me.

I’m lazy and I like to be comfortable. But where is the “nose to the grindstone”? Where is the sheer mental toughness? Nope, that isn’t me. I’ve got terrible will power too. I learned a while back that the easiest thing to do (and I like easy) was to turn my personal likes and dislikes into an asset. So, I turned being lazy and loving comfort into my own personal wellness and relationship guru.

The more I learned about how our body/mind works, the more it makes sense that if I want to feel good and to feel comfortable, I have to make the right choices. Fall is a great motivating time for me because I start to get cold and achy. I’ve learned that the only way I’m going to feel good is to go for a walk, increase my vegetable intake and stimulate my mind. The lousier I feel, the more likely I’ll make healthier choices. Weird, huh?

People also ask me about my relationships. I have a variety of rich relationships, male and female as well as a great spouse. I get to know my clients well and they become a part of my own, personal support system. Now, I’m someone who is an introvert and emotionally sensitive. People wear me out pretty quickly and I spent a good part of my life hiding in bathrooms. However, I’ve discovered that the best way to feel secure, be comfortable and stay relaxed is to have good relationships. It’s less work to get along then it is to always be right.  Much, much easier. A little effort to learn relationship skills and come out of the bathroom means that I don't have to work so hard in other parts of my life. Cool!!

Well, what about my career, my adventures, the freedoms I have?  How did I get those? I had a childhood that taught me that “being perfect” and “always being nice” was exhausting and rarely got me what I wanted; even if I could balance on a ball holding a poodle. Ta-da!! I found that speaking my mind calmly, understanding that emotions are temporary, letting people know how I feel and think and then giving people time and space to adjust was easier than trying to subtly manipulate the people around me. If someone doesn’t want to adjust to the new reality, they will eventually leave- I don’t have to worry about it. Whew- no awkward breakups.

Lastly, my inner peace. I found that it’s much easier to have peace when you make peace with yourself. I regularly take the time to recognize and appreciate ALL aspects of myself. In the long run, it means that I don’t waste energy (remember I’m lazy) fighting myself and getting in my own way. At the end of the day, my biggest secret is…enlightenment and happiness is easier than they ever taught you. Peace and love, Rita.

The Secrets Of Fall Arthritis Part I

Isle Royale 2010
Photo Courtesy of Van Archiquette

Fall, in the Midwest, is the season of slowing down, watching football and staying warm. It’s also the season of achy pain. The colder it gets, the worse I feel. Achy fall pain means you have some inflammation. Or, in Chinese Medicine, too much heat- parts of your body are working too hard.

1.  As the season changes, the air pressure fluctuates dramatically. Any pressure, even air, keep the bodies inflammation response in check. When there is less pressure, like when the weather changes dramatically, our bodies swell causing more aches and pains.

2.  When we're sedentary, our bodies drainage systems don’t work well. Our main drainage, the lymph system, only works when we move. When we stop moving, pressure builds up and we hurt.

3.  We're less physically active when we’re indoors and cold. We sit or lay in the same position for longer periods of time. This pattern causes extra pressure and extra stress on parts of our body.

4.  In the winter, we eat fattier, comfort foods and fewer raw vegetables. Red meats, processed foods, dairy, salt, sugar…all of these create a whole body, low level inflammatory response.

So not only are we creating more inflammation, but we are doing less to relieve it. Believe it or not, if you’re like me, pain is a great motivator. The increased pain lets me know what parts of my body are troubled and inspires me to do something about it. Correctly treating minor aches and pains can head off future joint replacements, surgeries and downtime.

Most of us have areas of our body that reflect old injuries, cellular and/or psychological memories and inherited poor body mechanics. Over time, and when our patterns change, these areas hurt. It’s not a mysterious diagnoses of old age or arthritis. It’s a wearing down, blockage, overuse and/or atrophy of part(s) of your body. You aren’t doomed to misery and handfuls of asprin and ibuprofen. It’s not a quick fix, but it is an easy answer- mindful movement. Next week, Part II will outline the steps to increase your body awareness and move in a healthier, more pain free, less pain inducing way. Until then!

Beating The Blues

I tend to be a moody person. Someone whom they might say is "emotionally sensitive". I notice when I feel good and when I don't and I've done a lot of soul searching and therapy because I’m “emotionally sensitive”. In my career as a bodyworker, I’ve also learned enough about the body that once I notice, acknowledge and am ready to change my mood, I’ve got the tools to do so.

Now the mind is tricky. When we start to feel like we’re in neutral, our minds create all sorts of strange reasons for it. I tend to start believing that I’m not creative or intelligent. Maybe I’m not passionate or my life would only be good if….usually if… someone else would stop being such a moron. It’s a sneaky sort of thing, our state of mind. We try to ignore how we feel because it usually “means” something we don’t want to acknowledge or feel we can’t change. Everyone finds their own ways of ignoring what these feelings “mean”- some healthy, some which leaves evidence in the form of pink lace panties on the lamp shade. Here’s an interesting thought, what if those feelings don’t mean anything but that your body isn’t getting something it needs to be happy. What if it’s not personal or someone else’s fault? That’s the first hurdle to feeling good: acknowledging and staying objective about the fantasies our minds create about our lives and personhood.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes you’re happy about life, even though nothing has changed? Your boss is still…your boss, you still don’t have the Mustang convertible you’ve always wanted, and the grass still needs to be cut. But life doesn’t look so bad all in all. Have you ever noticed that?

Every so often I stay in a hotel room that has those heat lamps over the toilet. I LOVE those! I sit there and bask in the warmth knowing full well I look ridiculous basking in the warmth on a hotel toilet. I don’t care. The heat is warm and I’m going to enjoy it until the timer runs out; one of my guilty pleasures, to be sure. The reason those lamps feel so good is because they are full spectrum. They mimic sunlight which is something that boosts our happy chemicals that influence self-image, inspiration and feelings of marvelousness.

Fall is coming, and with it, darker days. Today I realized that although I know my life is good, I’m feeling uninspired about everything. I can’t find a topic to finish my newsletter this week and don’t really care. The first thing I did was text a friend that I felt uninspired and asked for advice. They didn’t answer. However, it started me thinking. I put on some Steve Miller Band- music is one of the best ways I know of to temporarily influence state of mind. Feeling a little better, I noticed that it was dark out, leading into fall, and I was feeling like that mushroom joke about living in the dark. I remembered I had a full spectrum lightbulb (I use Blues Buster) I had bought last year and changed out the bulb in my lamp. Bam, pow, OMG, I was basking in the sun again and the creativity was flowing. Research shows that we need a minimum of 20 minutes of sunlight a day to keep our Vitamin D and serotonin high, which strongly influences mood. I forgot because I felt lousy and temporarily “knew” I was a loser.

So what if successful and happy people don’t have their lives totally together? What if they get what their body needs to stay feeling well and happy? What if one of the answers to a good life is happy music and a full spectrum lightbulb? Who would have thunk it?

Success- Do you have it and how to get it.

As the owner of a small business, I am constantly reflecting on the topic of "success". Is it how much money I make? How many contacts I have? How many appointments on the book? There are always people to compare myself to and either feel like a champion or a loser. And I frequently visit both realities, especially after "catching up" on Facebook.

We are inundated with paradigms of success that focus on how much money we make compared to last year or the latest kitchen or car or newest adventure. Who has the best connections, the most interesting things to say. We all get sucked into the need to feel as if we are growing and doing better than before. Goals, objectives or at minimum, comparing the vocalists on American Idol.

I sat outside today and thought about people I sincerely envied and felt had achieved success in their lives. They had traveled the world. 50,000 people have read their blog. Their children were nice and funny. Famous actors, local business owners. And, it occurred to me, that most of them didn’t have more money or fame than they wanted. If they did, their lives weren’t postcard perfect. Many of them worked multiple jobs, looking for work or were on financial assistance. They weren't universally loved and always on top. Some of them were now dead. At that moment, the meaning of success changed just slightly for me. It seemed to me that very successful people, were just people.

After this thought, I noticed that I was sitting outside on a beautiful, fall day. I had time to listen to the birds. I had my needs met and more even if I didn’t always get the newest and the prettiest. I had lots of fulfilling, if at times challenging relationships. I had set up my business and my life so that it gave me what I really wanted most: time, love, companionship, adventure.

This isn’t a blog about how “the world is materialistic and we’ve forgotten our priorities”. It’s a blog about how even sincerely successful people don’t fit any idealized vision of success. I had a bodywork session with a successful lawyer last week. He has many things I’d like to have- money, a thriving career and respect in the community. He is genuinely a very nice and, to me, successful guy. And like most of us, he still works, worries about his relationships, has a hard time changing unhealthy patterns and on and on. Hmmm…..

So, what if success really meant just, living a pleasant life? Weird. That just blows my mind.